We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
