he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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