So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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