if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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