So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize