Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
