What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
