well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
