Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
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his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
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Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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