you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
