i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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