You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
