The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
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