But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
