Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
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NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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