i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
