My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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