oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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