she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
