Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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