Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The chlamydia really affected his face.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
