What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
