His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
