I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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