Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she smelled like a LAN party
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
