the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We are all done wearing pants today
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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