The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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