She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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