is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
