i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
