I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
