I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
