I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
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Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think people are normalizing furries
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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