Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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