Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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