i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
high people should be assigned attendants
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
