I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
