And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just found puke in my bra..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
