I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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