btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize