I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize