I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
