I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Terrible idea I love it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
