dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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