i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
