Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
