Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
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2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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