suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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