I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
