Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
