tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
