My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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