So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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