i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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