Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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