I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize