I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
