come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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