That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
