I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just tell him i said nine months
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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