making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
