Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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